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Intellectually, I know it is not the type of love that makes long-term relationships. Only then can you really know of the person is a life time partner. The bonus for us midlifers is that we can see it for what it is, go with the flow and enjoy the feelings without the ill-advised rush to Vegas to tie the knot after two weeks and then regretting the sudden decision.
I agree with DG–a crush can make you feel sooo alive! I few years ago while I was in the midst of my awful divorce from my philandering ex (and while it was all coming out about how many affairs etc he’d had, and for how long), I suddenly realized during a meeting that a (married) work colleague who I saw all the time was verrry uncomfortable when he looked at me.
I sat down with my family and a moment later he quietly came up behind me and placed the plate in front of me.
He apologized for the delay, I smiled, told him I was sure they would be wonderful, and that was that.
Our eyes met and these intense feelings came over me like I’d never felt before. Remember those feelings of infatuation, exemplified by your hanging out at the crushee’s locker or outside the gym as he left practice? But that didn’t keep me from ensuring I always looked my best and giggling at his funny comments when in the exam chair. Do I obsess about this green-eyed, divorced, midlife cutie? But I make sure to put on makeup and stylish jeans whenever I take in my car for repair.Or perhaps you were like me, not-so-subtly keeping score for the team on which the object of your desire played. Once, the oven rack was tilted, so the cake baked lopsided. An intense crush is when you drive by his house on the weekend hoping to catch him outside or see if his car is in the driveway.But it really gave me a boost and made me realize that I have a lot to offer a man, and that I should stop moping around feeling sorry for myself and start dating. When I was married I had I think two crushes on other women, but I never acted on them.And then there’s this other guy I had a crush on……. I don’t think I even entertained much of a fantasy about them. Post marriage every crush I’ve had has been with someone I’ve dated, so I haven’t had to deal with an unrequited crush.